WRITING LETTERS
TO THE DIVINE MOTHER

From The Path of the Mother

Continuing with the child-like feelings that may have been aroused in the "Adopting a Childlike Outlook" visualization, you can begin pouring your heart out to Mother in the form of letters to her. If you have doubts and wonder how the Mother of the universe could possibly be concerned with you and your letters to her, that is normal, especially in the beginning. Even after many experiences of Mother's omnipresence, I still find it difficult to grasp the concept.

"Where is that place where Mother is not."--Ammachi

In letter writing practice, choose one of the pictures of the Mother on your altar to focus on. Allow yourself to communicate in every way, even ways that seem nonsensical, with Mother Mary, Lakshmi, Kuan Yin, Durga, Anandamayi Ma, Ammachi, Magdalena. If at any point you need to know that a living divine Mother has received one of your letters, you may write to Ammachi in India (address available at Ammachi's Web Site in California or Ammachi's home on the world wide web from India directly from Ammachi's home on the world wide web from India). She may not respond to you in written form, but the simple knowledge that she has received your letter can be very satisfying. She has said she receives our letters as we write them.

"Amma [Mother] remembers everyone! . . . How can Amma forget anyone, when the whole universe is within her? You are all parts of Amma. How can the whole forget the part? The part exists in the whole. . . when you remember that she is always with you, that she sees all your actions and is your sole protector and guide, you are remembering the whole - you are recalling your real nature and true abode."--Ammachi

One time I needed to write Ammachi a long letter. I knew it wasn't allowed to take lengthy ones up the darshan line, so I asked Swamini Amma, her attendant, to read it to Ammachi in the privacy of her room. I felt vulnerable because it described all the ways I tended to be overly sensitive and, then, angry in response. After about three weeks, I became anxious for a reply. So, I went up the darshan line and asked the translator to find out if Ammachi had heard my letter. "Yes," she replied, but said nothing more. Still curious about it, a few days later I asked Swamini Amma if she had translated my letter to Ammachi. She said, "No." I told her Ammachi had said "Yes." Swamini Amma laughed." She must have read it in her own way." While I had already had the sense that Ammachi knows and listens the moment we write our letters to her, this experience assured me that was so.

Ultimately, the Mother wants us to find her within ourselves, to know that in reality, she is us. Writing letters to her helps facilitate the unfolding of this truth.

"Spiritual practice reminds you, 'I am not just a part, but the part of the Whole - indeed, I am one with the whole.'" --Ammachi

There are four parts to the practice of writing letters to Mother:

(1) introducing your early years to her, telling her what you were like as a small child;

(2) describing yourself as a teenager;

(3) going through the different decades of your life; and

(4) giving her information about who you are now.

In the first two sessions you will tell her how you would have liked her to have been there for you, especially in ways in which your own mother was not. The third session will include how you think she could have been present for you through all the decades of your life. In the fourth, you write and tell her what your relationship with her is like now, and how you would like her to be there for you.

Usually anything we start feels clumsy in the beginning. Let the letters express emotions, feelings, anticipation, anxieties, insights, and desires. Let them bring you into a very intimate and personal relationship with her. Tell her everything - events, feelings, desires, images, dreams, memories, difficulties, triumphs, sorrows, pains, emotional weaknesses - everything.

"All your thoughts and actions pass through Amma [Mother]."--Ammachi

Session #1. Allow forty-five minutes, with no interruptions or phone calls. Begin with repetition of the name for about five or ten minutes. Afterwards, keep your eyes closed and let images or feelings from your childhood come to mind. If nothing comes right away, just remain open to yourself as a child. When you feel ready, open your journal and write, "Dear Divine Mother, when I was little. . . ." Describe what you looked like, things you did by yourself and with your mother and father, brothers and sisters, pets, things you liked, things you didn't like. While you write, tell Mother how you might have liked her to help you in certain difficult situations. Tell her any emotions you feel as you write. Don't be surprised if tears come both from sadness and love. Let the tears wet the pages of your journal. Ammachi herself used to cry and wet pages with her tears. When you feel finished, end the session by closing your eyes and saying Mother's name a few times. Thank her for being with you. If you want to write more about your childhood in other sittings before going on to the next session, continue to do so. Otherwise go on to the next and maybe come back to this one at a later date.

"You merely forgot your innocence for some time. It is as if you suddenly remember something after having forgotten about it for a very long time. That childlike innocence deep within you is God [Mother]."--Ammachi

Session #2: Once again, allow about forty-five minutes. Following the same format as in Session #1, sit and meditate for about five or ten minutes using the names. With closed eyes, recall when you were eleven, twelve, thirteen or fourteen years old. Let a few memories or feelings of those (or these, if you are a teenager) adolescent or prepubescent times enter into your mind. Now recollect specific significant events. It is important not to censor sexual images. Sexual thoughts and activities are part and parcel of these young years. Begin by writing, "Dear Divine Mother, when I was a teenager. . . . Or, if you are a teenager, "Dear Divine Mother, I am now. . . . " Tell her how old you are and what you look like. Who are your friends? What is your relationship with your parents and siblings? Take notice of any feelings of shame as you write. Let her know what you feel. Don't forget she is the author of all and there is nothing she does not know, nor is there anything she judges. You can tell her anything and everything. If you need to close your eyes from time to time and become quiet again before going on, feel free to do so. Don't forget to let her know how you think she might have helped you in the past, or might help you in difficult situations with friends, parents, and siblings. When you feel finished, close your eyes and say Mother's name three times.

"A child is born with pure consciousness, but society teaches him [her] to be unconscious. . . He [She] becomes completely clouded and is made to forget his [her] real nature. He [She] is taught everything except how to simply abide in his [her] real nature."--Ammachi

Session #3: This session is divided up into the decades of your life twenties, thirties, forties, fifties, sixties, and so on. Decades often mark important times in our lives, whether it be a re-evaluation of our lives at age thirty, a maturing of our values at age forty, or a confrontation with impending old age at fifty. It is recommended that you write about each decade in separate sessions. Contemplate which topics were important for you during each ten-year period, including college, travel, relationships, marriage, child-rearing, profession, divorce, deaths in the family, personal crises, life-altering experiences, changes in lifestyle, moves to different geographical locations. Try to remember significant experiences that influenced the course of your life - the choices you made at critical crossroads. For example, how did a decision to marry rather than continue with college affect your life? What did having children teach you? What events seemed to happen by chance, not by your design or in your control? Allow forty-five minutes, and, as usual, begin with a five or ten-minute Mother meditation. Let yourself recall the particular decade for a few minutes before starting to write. Then write, "Dear Divine Mother, when I was twenty . . . ." Or, if you are in your twenties, "Dear Divine Mother, I am now . . " Tell Mother details of important events. Describe scenes in detail. How would you have liked her to help you? Don't forget to tell feelings, aspirations, and desires.

"When you can dive deep into your own consciousness, you will realize this innocence one day. At that moment you will discover the child within you. You will experience the innocence, the joy and the wonder that were hidden inside of you, and you will realize they were always there."--Ammachi

Session #4: Allow forty-five uninterrupted minutes. Begin with the names. Then, keep your eyes closed. Become very aware of who you are now, today, how you feel, and what you look like. Try to remain present without going into the past or future. Just be with yourself as you are right now. Write, "Dear Divine Mother, today I am. . . ." Include your sense of how you would like her to be with you in difficult situations, relationships, job situations, or with your life goals. If there seems to be an overwhelming number of situations which need attention, choose one for today and in the next sitting choose another. When you feel ready, close the session with Mother's name. If you feel that Mother expects something, it is to take you beyond all expectations.x Get into the habit of writing daily. Find a quiet time in the day, when you wake up or just before sleep, or after meditation. Make this practice an integral part of your day.

"We delight in searching for the child within. When we were children, we had no worries or problems; recalling these days with love, we want to return to them. This desire is felt by all living beings."--Ammachi