So how can we attain this state of detached love and acceptance
of all things, all events, all people? The practice of witnessing
is one step in that direction. One striking observation we could make about the
Jillellamudi Mother [an Indian Saint whose story was told earlier] is the
detached love she held for all people and things. Even as a child, she viewed
the death of her mother with complete dispassion. The inspiration she offered
the temple priest and the scholarly swami came out of her detached witnessing
state of consciousness. She knew God permeated everything and that all
emotions, negative and positive, came from one source alone.
Why is a witnessing state desirable?
Most of us feel better when we are not identified with emotions or events,
especially negative ones. It is not pleasant to be anger when we are angry. Yet
anger when we are not identified with it can be a useful emotion, such as in
the occasional need for a show of anger when disciplining children. Another
example might be with a friend who was unhappy about an episode in her life.
You may have helped her by expressing sadness, even though you weren't really
sad, or even though your experience of sadness might have passed immediately
after.
One time I went to Ammachi about my nephew who had just been
diagnosed with liver cancer. Amma let out a sound of suffering that seemed to
come from the depths of the ocean. Her look of horror combined with her voice
connected with my own feeling more deeply than even I had realized. Yet as soon
as I left her presence she was smiling, radiant, paying attention to someone
else. She had entered into my grief for my benefit, but had never left her
connection to all that is.
Ammachi suggests that being in a
witnessing state of consciousness,sakshi bhava, does not mean we can't
carry on our daily activities or express emotions as Amma did with me regarding
my nephew. Amma explains:
You may be concerned about your children's studies, the health
of your parents and your wife and so on, yet in the midst of all these external
problems you remain a sakshi, a witness, to all that happens and to all
that you do. Within, you are perfectly still and
unperturbed.
Ammachi
reminds us that we experience witnessing states every day and we just don't
notice it. For instance, we might walk in on our neighbors who are
arguing. It is possible for us to watch the argument and not have an attachment
to it, not get involved with all the negative feelings. In this situation we
are more likely to see the problem more clearly than the couple who is fighting
or if we were the ones squabbling. If we do get involved with our friends who
are fighting we are not likely to be of much help.
Another example of
witnessing often happens while riding in a car, train, or plane. We observe the
scenes are we are passing but are not intimately involved. Looking out the
window can be a peaceful experience because of this witnessing state.
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If this ability to
witness can happen during certain moments of our lives, we should be able to
experience it constantly, in any situation. This can be achieved because it is,
in fact, our real nature. --Ammachi |
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The
following practice can help to clear the mind after a day at work or a day at
home mothering. The technique is useful for flushing out the day's
thoughts and activities, leaving our minds clear and quiet. Eventually the
practice teaches the mind to be more observant and detached while an activity
is taking place.
Begin by closing your eyes, and observing your
breath as in the breathing meditation [explained earlier]. Sit quietly for a
few minutes, breathing normally. Gently become aware of your inhalations and
exhalations--in and out, in and out, rising and falling, rising and falling.
Then mentally review the entire day - from the time you woke up in the morning
to the present moment. Watch the events of the day as if you were watching them
on a movie screen. While the aim is to remember everything, it is not necessary
to see minute details, nor should you anguish over things you don't recall. The
ability to see everything will come after practice.
The attitude you want to hold in the witnessing
meditation is one of detachment, almost as if you were observing something that
happened to someone else, or viewing yourself from a distance. In the
event that your emotions become activated, let the feelings be there in a
detached way, not connected to the thought or the interchange which caused the
feelings. In other words, let your emotions move through you (even tears of
sadness or hurt) without thinking about the event associated with the feeling.
The feelings will go away when they are not connected to an activity or
thought. When the emotions pass, continue watching the movie screen of your day
until the end of the day is reached. Now carry on with the process of
witnessing in the present, listening to sounds, smells, letting all sensory
perceptions. be equal in your mind.
When you have finished, sit
quietly for a few minutes before opening your eyes. After you get up, try to
observe silence for at least a half hour. Enjoy the feeling of inner peace for
as long as you are able. |
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To become a
witness is to really wake up and become conscious of everything that happens,
both within and without. But in reality, there is no within or without. In that
state of supreme witnessing, you become the center of everything, just watching
all the changes occur. The changes never affect you because now you have become
the center, the very life force of everything.
--Ammachi
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