Amma's mother, Damayanti,
tells us that she had a dream of giving birth to the Indian god Krishna the
night before Ammachi was born. Ammachi's father, Sughunanandan, a devotee of
Krishna, had a dream about Devi, the universal mother. Neither parent gave much
credence to their visions. Today, both of them throw their hands in the air and
laugh about the times they went through with Ammachi as their child. It was not
possible for them then to conceive that their strong-willed daughter would some
day draw crowds from all over the world, and that they would be among those who
approach her to receive her blessings of infinite love.
On September
27, 1953, in the Idamannel family, in the rather backward fishing village of
Parayakadavu where Ammachi's ashram sits today, Ammachi was born. Undoubtedly
one could hear the sound of waves lapping on the shore during the event. Men
might have been chanting boat songs while hauling fishing nets onto the same
beach where her mother crept into a thatched hut and crouched in labor for the
rather unexpected birth. Her mother remembers the ease with which Sudhamani, as
Ammachi was called, came into this world. None of the usual pains or signs that
had preceded the births of her first three children accompanied this one. Above
all, Damayanti says she will never forget the brilliant smile on her newborn's
face.
Sudhamani, Ambrosial
Jewel, was born with dark blue, almost black skin, much like the color of
Krishna or the goddess Kali. However, neither Damayanti nor Sughunandan saw the
skin color as a sign of divinity.They thought something was wrong and went to
doctors to try to cure it. While Sudhamani's skin grew somewhat more pale in
color as she grew older, she was always darker than her brothers and sisters.
Even today Ammachi's skin will take on a blue-black tone when she is in a
particular devotional mood. However, because of the dark color, she was the
subject of potential social stigma, not to mention a possible difficulty in
finding a suitable husband.
The
prejudices prevalent at the time of Ammachi's birth revealed some aspects of
India's own shadow - the shadow of a culture that preferred light brown skin
over dark, and a society whose family members fretted over dowry and marriage
of the sometimes unwanted female babies. In addition, India was generally seen
as a society whose families practiced religion with devotion but often without
the wisdom and deeper understanding necessary to go beyond the external
trappings to reveal the essential truth. Ammachi's parents were no exception.
At a very early age Sudhamani
saw that her family's desire for status and respect determined their attitude
and subsequent behavior towards her. Their social desires blinded them from
being able to love her unconditionally. Instead she was often abused and
beaten. In a sense we can say that this little fishing village in India where
Ammachi was born represented conditions that are prevalent all over the world.
Many of us come from families in which there were serious problems about loving
well. Many of us have experienced some form of abuse.
Often our
social and religious consciousness develops in response to our life experience.
This may have been true of Ammachi, who today often speaks out for the need of
unconditional love and patience during child rearing:
"They [children] grow up seeing
the conflicts, arguments, disputes, hatred, fighting and finally the separation
of their parents. They never experience what love is, which is what they are
supposed to learn from the mutual love between their father and mother. The
parents are the two Gurus which the children see from birth until they come
into contact with the world. If the seed of love is not sown at home, it cannot
sprout or blossom."
Ammachi's parents did not separate as is so
common in the West. But her father often was out to sea fishing for the family
livelihood, leaving an ailing and often irritable Damayanti alone to take care
of the children. Ammachi was the fourth of nine children. She was precocious
from the first smile at birth. She walked and talked at six months, recited
prayers at two, and composed devotional songs from the time she was three.
Villagers would delight in listening to little Sudhamani's love songs to the
Indian god Krishna, the flute-playing lord. Eventually neighbors learned the
songs and joined with her while she sang. Everyone was attracted to her
charming ways and her natural concern for others.
As Ammachi grew older the spiritual
qualities which made her so delightful as a toddler caused disturbance in the
household.
Ammachi's life story continues
The Path of the Mother
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Copyright © 2000 by
Savitri L. Bess. All Rights Reserved. |
